Most women have been hurt by a man. According to an Internet survey of almost 250 women across the United States, 60% said they had been hurt by their dad and 83% said they had been hurt by a man other than their dad.

The knife dug deep into many women leaving wounds time hasn’t healed. For others, the hurt was just an emotional scratch. And while a woman’s dad may have been the first man to hurt her, others followed . . . boyfriends, husbands, brothers, bosses, classmates, teammates, strangers and friends. Too often the very men she leaned on for protection hurt her the most.

As I was thinking about this it occurred to me that Jesus never hurt a woman. I don’t mean he never spoke disappointing and even painful words to them. He did. I mean he never hurt a woman by saying or doing something inappropriate or insensitive.

Just the other day Cindy came home as I was writing. She stuck her head in my office, smiled and said, “I’m back.”

I glanced at her and said “hi” and returned to my work.

She walked to the kitchen and a moment later returned. “What you said hurt me.”

“What did I say?”

“You said, ‘Hi.’” She laughed, realizing how silly her comment sounded. “It was the way you said it.”

“How’d I say it?”

“You said it like I was intruding. Like I annoyed you.”

“Ummm. I was working. You know, focused.”

“Well, I thought you should know it was the tone of your voice.”

She was right. But in that moment I had no way of knowing how I said, “Hi” would affect her. Just a slight change in vocal tone communicated indifference.

I know it’s a little thing. But Jesus never did that to a woman. No harsh or dismissive tone. No half-truths or lies. No broken promises. No inappropriate yelling. No drunken outbursts. No cutting sarcasm. No flirtatious looks. No defensiveness. Every interaction Jesus had with a woman expressed love. Every interaction brought them closer to God. To him.

Photo by u2tryololo, CC

There are 4 comments

  1. Virgil Michael

    It seems like you are ignoring some stories of Jesus offending his mom and dad as a boy of 12 who disappeared for 3 days. Or that his mom and brother’s were deeply offended by him at certain points and tried to take him away from a group because they thought he wasn’t thinking straight…or the wedding feast at Canaan in John 2…or the women who Jesus at first didn’t heal because she was not Jewish who stood up to him and said that even the dogs eat the crumbs off the master’s table. I think Jesus offended quite a few women both in his teaching and other ways…which is a form of hurt. But I do believe he did it with the best intentions of trying to bring healing or teach a lesson, not hurt for hurts sake.

    • Bill Perkins

      You make good points. However, what I said was, “I mean he never hurt a woman by saying or doing something inappropriate or insensitive.” He certainly said things that disappointed women but never in an inappropriate or insensitive way. I suppose the situation when he was 12 could be considered insensitive. But on the other hand, I think his parents screwed up. How could they leave Jerusalem and not notice he was missing for three days? I would put the blame on the parents not the child. I’m not sure his brothers were offended, they simply didn’t understand what he was up to. Did he offend his mother at Canaan? Didn’t seem that way to me. After all, he turned water into wine. The woman didn’t need healing but her daughter did.I don’t think she was offended she had the courage to respectfully challenge Jesus and he healed her daughter. Jesus certainly spoke words that disappointed and possibly hurt women. I think of his remark to Martha when she asked him to tell hers sister to help with dinner. I think you’re right when you said, “he did it with the best of intentions of trying to bring healing or teach a lesson, not hurt for hurt’s sake.” I think we agree on this most important matter. Thanks for posting.

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